I have weird pinkies
Magic in EVERY bite!
Could it be?
Still off work I tried so hard to go in to work Monday morning and just couldn’t. The medication feels like it’s kicking in now and, as usual for me, I have every side effect possible. I walked out of the door and froze on the spot, gripped with fear and anxiety. I phoned to let them know I’m not able to come back yet, they weren’t understanding and requested I come in for a meeting today to discuss everything…They want a time frame for when I can come back. Meeting was cancelled. I need to go back to the Drs. and get another sick note or I can see me losing my job. I hate my job but, it pays the bills. I need it. What am I supposed to do? Without work I have no social interactions, no income, nothing. I’m unable to cope with the simplest things right now, let alone the stress of a full working day, why can’t they just understand that all I need is some time for the medication to settle and hopefully I can come back? I was hoping I could explain all this at the meeting. The last thing I need right now is to worry about what I’m going to do once I’m functioning again, I need to concentrate on getting better.

Still off work

I tried so hard to go in to work Monday morning and just couldn’t.

The medication feels like it’s kicking in now and, as usual for me, I have every side effect possible.

I walked out of the door and froze on the spot, gripped with fear and anxiety.

I phoned to let them know I’m not able to come back yet, they weren’t understanding and requested I come in for a meeting today to discuss everything…They want a time frame for when I can come back.

Meeting was cancelled.

I need to go back to the Drs. and get another sick note or I can see me losing my job.

I hate my job but, it pays the bills. I need it.

What am I supposed to do? Without work I have no social interactions, no income, nothing.

I’m unable to cope with the simplest things right now, let alone the stress of a full working day, why can’t they just understand that all I need is some time for the medication to settle and hopefully I can come back? I was hoping I could explain all this at the meeting.

The last thing I need right now is to worry about what I’m going to do once I’m functioning again, I need to concentrate on getting better.

I finally worked up the courage to seek help with my inability to cope with life.
Tomorrow I start my first course of medication, it should have been today but I decided that a Sunday would be a better day to start on.
I’ve been signed off work for a week…Feels fairly stupid, surely removing someone from social contact and stopping them from keeping busy isn’t the best idea?
But the Dr. knows best…
I’ve written a simple list of things I want to get done during the next week so I don’t drift into a weird sleep/game/mope pattern with no schedule or time restraints…
I think some structure will help me, even if it means getting up at the same time as I would for work, doing 8 hours of something constructive, then whatever I want to after. Like a work day, but for myself.

I should count myself lucky, my Dr. was kind as he signed me of for “malaise” so work doesn’t have to know I am essentially a failure at being human.
We’ll see how it goes…
Truth
I wish… I had real artistic talent, a truly unique and inspiring talent. I can’t draw, I can’t paint, I can’t sculpt, I can’t build, I can’t write, I can’t take good photos, I can’t act, I can’t sing, I can just about play various instruments but I can’t compose music… I am essentially talentless, I have no skills beyond generic “anyone can learn that in 30 seconds on Google” talents. Why is this? Why am I so uncreative? I thought everyone was born with some creative/artistic talent but it seems I’m lacking. Maybe my talent is being so boring and plain that the gifted people stand out?

I wish…

I had real artistic talent, a truly unique and inspiring talent.

I can’t draw, I can’t paint, I can’t sculpt, I can’t build, I can’t write, I can’t take good photos, I can’t act, I can’t sing, I can just about play various instruments but I can’t compose music…

I am essentially talentless, I have no skills beyond generic “anyone can learn that in 30 seconds on Google” talents.

Why is this? Why am I so uncreative? I thought everyone was born with some creative/artistic talent but it seems I’m lacking.

Maybe my talent is being so boring and plain that the gifted people stand out?

Blank